So hope you enjoyed that story of Margaret bard and I'm pretty certain that it must have resonated with
you on some level because it does resonate with all of us.
This story resonates with me every time I tell it.
I look at the areas and the aspects of my life where I'm choosing security over freedom.
We all do this.
Times we sometimes embrace the status quo and we are comfortable with instead of really pushing us ourselves
far far far more far more of what we actually want so let's just revisit some of the conversations that
we've had with Karen through the course up until now no.
Some of the discussions that we've had.
They did get a little bit raw.
They got quite honest.
But what has become quite evident is Khan's tendency to choose apathy sometimes be a little bit lazy
over really making the decisions and the choices that she wants to make together those things that she
really wants to get more off in life.
All right.
So it's important that we know understand the part that understanding our core values play and the overriding
life coaching process.
All right this just gives you a little bit of context and help you understand why understanding a core
values is massively important until we understand the core values and what actually drives us at the
core.
We're going to find it very very difficult to make wise and well informed decisions and say yes to those
things that we really want to say yes to is fundamentally going to get us more of the things that we
actually want to get.
All right.
What's true for us is going to be true for other people too.
So I'm going to suggest that many life coaching trainings even the ones that I've been on over the years
start out with looking at goals.
All right.
And so I want to show you the different way that some coaching programs take.
So some people start out and say Right it's important that in order to progress and move forward in
life we've got to start with personal goals.
And then from personal goals were then going to establish what we want what we want to achieve what
we want to do and then we're going to figure out what our strategy is to get these personal goals.
And once we know who our strategy is to get those goals we're going to make sure that these goals are
in alignment with our personal vision.
And then once we are clear on what our personal vision is will then make sure that our goals are in
alignment with our personal mission.
And then hopefully will then be motivated enough to go and make all these goals of ours happen.
And that's okay.
All right.
And all these aspects of the goal set process and the action taken process are critical if we do actually
want to accomplish anything in life.
But what I am going to suggest based upon my experience I've found that looking at goals from the opposite
direction generally tends to be a bit more empowering for our clients.
All right.
And this is also how I look at my goals.
So this is the core values section.
We looked in that last video the difference between security and freedom.
Sometimes we will sacrifice our freedom to have some security.
Sometimes if we want more freedom or if we want more in our lives to more than what we've got today
we're going to have to sacrifice our security so that we can get more freedom.
All right.
And what I'm saying here is that we've got to be crystal clear on what we are actually wanting to accomplish
first and foremost.
Never mind goals i.e. the details the practicalities of what we want more often in life are relevant.
What we've got to get clear on what our actual priorities are.
Do we just want security in our life or do we want freedom or could freedom and security actually coexist.
W.K. we each get to decide by the way.
All right.
So this is where this is the approach that I like to take to life coaching and bearing in mind this
is just my way.
All right.
This is the way that I found works for me is what for most of my clients over the years hasn't worked
for everyone but it usually helps me to get quite good results.
You can take this or leave it as entirely up to you.
But once we've got crystal clear on who our clients are once they've become clearer on who they are
the natural progression then is to get establish what we actually want on a core values level which
we're going to unpack in a couple of videos that follow in much more detail or you can see how they
all are completely intrinsically and interconnected Lee linked.
So it sort of values that kind of give us this personal mission.
All right.
And if I was to ask you right now did you get on a bed for this morning what would you say you're going
to most likely say well I got out of bed this morning to take the kids to school or go about my daily
routine or study my course or something like that.
Or you perhaps got to about the law and so you could go to work.
All right.
Ultimately is good to work in life.
If we don't work then we're not going to make any money which means we're not going to be able to meet
our core physiological needs.
All right.
So once we've established that we get out of bed in the morning to do some form of work be this paid
unpaid in whatever context we can then ask ourselves the question OK.
So why do we go to work well we go to work to fundamentally be remunerated to make money.
We need to make money.
Why.
Because we want to keep food on the table we want to keep a roof over our heads meet our physiological
needs as I've mentioned and also build up some reserves in the back row.
So we feel a little bit more secure.
But if I was to then ask you.
OK.
So for what purpose do you want to feel secure in life.
What then would you say.
All right.
These are just tougher questions there's no right or wrong answer.
But we've got a look there.
So when we start looking ourselves on this level we can start getting clearer on what our personal mission
actually is.
All right.
This is for each of us to determine what we're actually driven by.
Here is our personal vision test to make money is our personal mission just to make a name for ourselves
just to be seen by people.
Or is it to make a positive difference in the world to make an impact on some level be this on a one
to one basis working with one on one clients or by setting up a social enterprise or a charity or volunteering
at a charity group or pioneering some world change in movement.
Guess what.
You're only a couple of decisions away from getting started in any of these things my friends.
All right.
But whether you get there or not is going to be determined by your tendency to prioritize freedom over
stability and security.
So once we're clear on a personal mission we then want to just establish what our personal vision actually
is and who and what we want to become.
All right.
No I think I mentioned in the last section of the course of my personal vision at the moment is to become
a father.
I want to be a dad and a stage of life that I'm currently at.
This is just now my time.
But going back 10 years ago I wanted to be pioneering.
I wanted to be the guy who was pioneer a world movements.
Ten years later I've done it.
We pioneered an ecology.
All right we're pretty much transformed in the way that the more applied psychologies are trained and
practiced and delivered.
All right so done what I set out to do but my personal mission was you know what we value the most.
I wanted freedom.
I wanted to be valuable.
I wanted to impact and transform the world vision no is I still want to impact the world but now I'm
looking at my children.
All right.
I want to make sure you leave a legacy and life through my children by investing into them.
All right.
So I've gone from there from the big vision and I know in just a little bit smaller.
All right.
But not any less or significant is not.
No it's not us.
No.
No I am not more or less significant than the Greer.
Vision is just different personal strategy.
All right.
How will we gauge our success.
There's an old saying you will know a person by their fruits.
All right.
And just link this idea back to the standard from earlier on.
All right.
It's not going to be wise for us to invest or give our time to people who aren't receiving that which
we're sharing with them and putting the ideas or the concepts that we're sharing in practice.
For example we have a couple of coaching sessions with someone and at the end of each coaching session
I would always leave a person with some homework.
If a client doesn't complete the homework they are not going to get any more of my time and I don't
care what excuses they come up with what reasons I don't care if the queen dies.
If a person does not complete their homework they are not going to get any more of my time until they
have done what they have said they were going to do.
Why.
Because this is the level of accountability that I want to integrate into my coach and to make sure
that people take action.
If a person's not willing to take action they're not going to get more of my time until they do.
I will certainly not be referred to as the guy who doesn't help people make an impact.
But bear in mind people are only ever going to change their lives once they're committed to the process
of taking action.
All right.
So how will we gauge your success wiling to gauge my personal success in life.
And by the impact that I make in other people when it's not that I march they make an impact but if
I communicate well and if I explain myself well and articulately clearly then people will hopefully
embrace the ideas that I teach that I share build them into their own lives and change start becoming
more relation or they may even go on to start making a positive impact in other people.
So say for example I'm training people.
I was my ultimate goal for a training course such as this.
Well my ultimate goal isn't just for you to watch this course and at the end of it say Congratulations
that was a really enjoyable program.
I think I've learned some stuff about myself and I feel better within myself.
That's actually quite meaningless for me.
What would be meaningful.
For me is that you take some of these ideas and then you go and start making a social impact.
You start taking these ideas and sharing them with others perhaps in a school environment or in the
prisons or you're in or you're a single mom you start sharing them with other single moms or are in
a context that is appropriate and relevant for you.
Remember we give him a fish he eats for today we teach a man how to fish he eats for a lifetime.
But when we teach other people how to teach people how to fish and we do this effectively we can actually
work together and play a part in ending world hunger.
So I want to see these ideas these universal truth and principles reach the far ends of the earth not
just gonna happen through me though happen through you and your willingness to put these principles
into practice and you only first and foremost self-awareness self-management self management social
awareness social awareness social management.
Remember that process.
All right so a personal strategy for this as by gauging the effectiveness of those people that I invest
my time into.
Hence the reason we built ecology because I can see exactly where people are art right.
Helps me to gauge whether I'm on track whether I'm communicating clearly well articulately concisely
and being the kind of person for the people that they actually need me to be.
My goal was never to be the kind of person for other people that they want me to be because that's all
to do with preferences but who people need me to be is always going to be different.
So a personal goals how we aim to achieve our vision.
Well this is always going to be kind of short term stuff.
All right.
And if I'm going to be a good dad then this might mean that I need to get up at six o'clock in the morning
so I can get a half hour 45 minutes worth of good exercise and so that I'm prepared for the day to engage
with my children so that I can you know cook them healthy breakfast and keep on top of the housework
it might mean that I've just got to get them to school on time it might mean that I need to clear my
diary and do eight hours work in four hours through the day when they're at school so that on a night
time I'm available to help them in their homework and stuff like that.
All right.
Our goals are gonna change us our life circumstances do forever.
All right.
So you'll see that our personal goals are always going to be reflective of our personal mission a personal
mission is always going to be to fulfill and meet our core values which we're only ever gonna be able
to do effectively once we understand what they are.
With me so this is just for you this isn't necessarily something that you need to share with your clients.
This is just something that you need to understand personally as a life coach.
All right.
When we are operating and coaching people on a identity values level fast and it makes it easier for
us as coaches to hold our clients to account to make sure that the decisions that they're making as
they pursue the personal vision and all that sort of thing and that their decisions are actually in
alignment with what they claim to value and prioritize the most.
Are you with me.
If not don't worry.
All become a lot more apparent in the 45 minutes or so that follows.